JOY: Not Just for Christmas!

by Laurie Ness

We hear a lot about joy this time of year, though some may find it difficult, impossible even, to feel like they are experiencing it.  Does joy elude you this time of year?  You're not alone!  Or maybe this is the one time of year joy seems to come easily, but it's a struggle at other times?  You're not alone, either!  I personally have been in both those places at different times in my life, and I know many others have as well.  I've learned some things about joy along the way, and, though I'm still not always consistent in walking in joy every second of every day, I'd love to share with you some ways to make joy real in our lives.  We can encourage each other! :)

Differentiate between joy and happiness.  Is it possible to be unhappy and joyful?  Absolutely!  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds . . ." (James 1:2).  James goes on to describe why we should consider our trials pure joy (great reading!), but my point here is that James's God-inspired writing tells us that trials are a cause for joy!  See, happiness is an emotion.  Joy is an attitude.  Our emotions are random and unreliable, while our attitudes are chosen and nurtured by us!  Joy and happiness may coincide at time, but they are not equal.

Take our eyes off ourselves.  Some of the most joyless people around are those who think only of themselves.  There's little room for joy in the life of someone busy protecting her own wants, her own needs, her own dreams.  There may be a momentary sense of satisfaction in getting her own way, but those closed fists and hearts are not open to grasp true joy!

Live obediently.   "Light shines on the righteous, and joy on the upright in heart.  Rejoice in the Lord, you who are righteous, and praise His holy name."  (Psalm 97:11-12)  If we choose to give up our own foolish ways and obey the one, true, wise God, there is such joy to be found in that obedience.  When we glorify Him in our actions, words, thoughts and attitudes, we can't help but to experience true joy!

Focus on Him.  However our circumstances look or feel to us, they don't change the fact that God never leaves us nor forsakes us, that He has a plan for our lives, and that He is the only One seeing the big picture.  The things we can't figure out are no mystery to Him, including the reasons He allows upsetting events in our lives.  Spend time praising Him for His sovereignty and constancy!

Practice contentment.  Count your blessings, start a gratitude journal, tell everyone on Facebook what you're thankful for . . . whatever it takes to help focus on the silver lining.  Sometimes the "only" thing we can muster up is that God is still there and that He loves us and is in control.  But what an awesome truth to cling to!  There's no silver lining that can beat that.  If everything on earth is falling apart around us, God is our rock, and He wants us to be content in Him!

So, whenever we are struggling to find joy, whether it be during the holidays or any other time of year, we need to examine our lives and see what we are doing, or not doing, that snuffs out that joy.  The joy is always there--we just need to exercise it!  And none of us needs to go it alone.  Share your struggles with someone and allow them to bless you with prayer support and encouragement.  Then do the same for someone else! :)

Additional Reading:

The book of James (or at least 1:1-8)  :)
Psalm 30:11
Psalm 118:24
Psalm 40:16

Life is Tough, but God is Faithful, by Sheila Walsh
Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow

Sweet Stewardship

by Laurie Ness

Though I haven't agreed with her every word, I'm often inspired by the life and words of the dear woman known as Mother Teresa.  She makes me think of sweetness, a quality that appears to be more and more lacking in our world. She seems to have had an incredible balance of sweetness and a no-nonsense approach to life.  Talk about a good steward!  From my readings on the life of this remarkable woman, my conclusion is that she wasted little, if anything.

And I'm not just talking about any money or material goods she ever possessed!

When we hear the word "stewardship," it's easy to think of money--how to spend it, how to save it, how to give it.  While this is a very important aspect of stewardship, I think I'll refer you to the brilliant Dave Ramsey for further study on that subject and focus here instead on some of the other areas of stewardship the Bible encourages us to take seriously.

Our time.  Time is an extremely easy thing to waste, isn't it?  Are we even conscious of all the means we have available to us that waste time, especially in this day and age?  Many of these activities are not wrong in and of themselves, but anything that consumes too many of our minutes or hours to the detriment of what we should be doing is a problem.

Keeping a time journal each day is an enlightening way to see the whole picture of how our time is spent.  When we pinpoint activities that are time-wasting traps for us, we know exactly what to watch out for.  It is helpful to many women to create a daily schedule, plotting out the entire day on paper, including some "down time" to spend on enjoyable activities.  Quite like making a money budget, a time budget allows one to accomplish all the necessary things while allowing a reasonable amount of guilt-free time to relax.  "Teach us to number our days, so that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12.  We aren't guaranteed tomorrow . . . we need to make the most of our time!

Our words.
      "Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."   Mother Teresa

I truly dislike, hate even, how I feel after my own careless words.  As a mom, I find that I have that feeling much more than I ever did before.  Frustrating days make it easy for me to let my guard down and just let loose with my words without filtering them through love and wisdom.  I don't call my son names or curse at him, but some of my careless words probably do just as much harm, just a little more subtly, gradually.

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, my rock and my Redeemer"  Psalm 19:14

Maybe you don't have children, but perhaps there are people in your life who annoy or irritate you?  Or maybe there is no one who, in your opinion, is worth the effort to carefully choose your words.  I would encourage you (and myself) to speak kindly to everyone, whether or not we feel they deserve it!  This, of course, does not mean we don't need to hold people accountable when necessary.  But this can be done with love and kindness as well.  God wants us to be careful in our speech!

Our opportunities.  God has something for us to do for Him every day!  Even days we never leave our homes are full of opportunities-- to minister to our families, spend time praying for everyone we can think of, study Scripture, write notes of encouragement, and many others.  Do we take the time when we wake up in the morning to offer our day up to Him, offering to joyfully do whatever He asks of us?

In Ephesians 5, we are told to, "Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." (verses 15-16)

It's hard to think about what might be lost because of our wasted opportunities, but it's no better to choose to call something an opportunity from God when we are actually bent on doing something outside His will.  May we learn to willingly "tune in" to what God has for us to do and determine ourselves to walk where He leads, not veering off His path in any direction!

Both Kinds of Family

by Laurie Ness

The word "family" evokes different thoughts and emotions for different people.  Some might think of warmth and support while others feel lonely, confused or even abused.  The concept of "family" is not easy, whether or not the experience is pleasant.  There are complexities that make having a healthy family hard work, and which, left unattended, cause broken families and miserable individuals.  Healthy families thrive because their members are willing to work at it, to do or give up what it takes to develop close relationships.

While thinking and praying about what to write for this month's devotional, I found myself thinking a lot about the similarities between a family of relatives and a church family.  While I don't consider myself an "expert" on either one, the Bible is full of wisdom for both kinds of families.  Many of the dynamics are the same, and in both types of families, it behooves us to examine how we are doing.  Are we contributing to the growth of our families at home and at church?

My little family of three have been memorizing Romans 12:9-21 together recently.  What a challenge, both in the memorization (at least for me--I'm not the fastest memorizer!) and the application of this passage.  It is so full of wisdom and practical ways of engaging with other people.  If we will apply these truths to our families--at home and at church--think of how well we will get along! :)

Romans 12:9-21  Let love be without hypocrisy.  Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.  Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly.  Do not be wise in your own estimation.  Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.  Respect what is right in the sight of all men.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.  Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord.  "BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD."  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Healthy families, at home and at church, typically do the following:

Know Who's Boss.  God is the head of a healthy family unit and of a healthy church family.  He's in charge!  He's the one we ultimately serve and consult.  He has placed human leaders in our homes (parents) and churches (pastors, elders, deacons, teachers, etc.)  to teach and guide and protect.

Pray together.  Just as members of a church congregation should pray together and for each other, a family unit needs to pray and lean on the Lord to stay strong.  He is the Source of our strength!

Serve together.  A healthy local church will have its eyes open for opportunities to serve both inside and outside the church walls.  Likewise, family members ought to be willing to serve one another at home and work together to serve elsewhere as well.  Is there a nursing home nearby whose residents would love regular visits from your family?  A shelter or food bank your family can supply together?  A neighbor who could use help raking leaves?  The possibilities are endless!  A servant's heart can be difficult to cultivate, but brings so many unexpected blessings!

Support each other.  A healthy church family will come through for its members in times of need.  Prayer support, financial support (when appropriate) and practical help support are a few of the ways church members care for each other.  Sometimes the need is difficult to meet or not recognized by the receiver (such as those who need church discipline!), but a church who wants to thrive in the Lord cannot ignore such matters.  A family of relatives is also responsible to one another for support, including the unpleasant matters that sometimes need to be addressed.

Accept each other.  People are different.  God created us to be unique from each other.  Sometimes these differences cause us to be annoyed, at home or at church, or to maybe think more highly of ourselves and our ways than we ought!  God wants us to accept each other.  This acceptance, of course, does not equal a lack of accountability in matters of right and wrong.  

Disagree with each other . . . the right way!  Let's face it, people disagree from time to time.  There's no way around that!  Husbands and wives disagree.  Brothers and sisters disagree.  Differing opinions, though, don't have to mean bickering and sinning.  Church members can disagree with one another, too.  The only issues worth digging in our heels for are those of biblical truth.  If the integrity of the church is being threatened by false doctrine or contrary/watered down teaching, wise people certainly need to take a stand.  But there is no good reason to quibble over non-essentials like how the building looks, styles of music or service times.  Discussion is great, but stubbornness breeds divisiveness!  Love does not insist on its own way!

Forgive each other.  Sometimes we don't do our best.  We sin against someone, or someone sins against us.  Is it our job to make them pay?  Does it do anyone any good for us to hold grudges?  The answer, of course, is no.  Wow, that person may not come even close to deserving our forgiveness, but we are commanded to extend it anyway.  Which of us can say we are deserving of the forgiveness bestowed upon us by a holy and righteous God?  Just do it!  Moms and Dads, forgive your children, and children forgive your parents for their mistakes.  Friends, forgive your friends!  Believers, forgive fellow believers who have hurt you.  Forgive as you have been forgiven!

Family ties can only grow stronger if we follow the guidelines God has provided for us. :)

Further Reading:
1 Corinthians 13
Ephesians 4:26-27
Ephesians 5:21-6:4

Sweet Rest

By Laurie Ness

"By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work."  Genesis 2:2

That verse seems so utterly basic--one that we've all heard numerous times.  I hesitated to even begin with it, picturing yawns and possibly even rolling of eyes.  Let me assure you, though, this is not about debating over whether or not we as Christ-followers should be keeping the Sabbath, so to speak.  We'll save that argument for people who enjoy, well . . . arguing!

So, nope.  This last devotional post before summer break is not necessarily about the Sabbath, pro or con.  It's about rest! *(see boldfaced note, bottom of article)

Photo by Kay Hartman

Did God rest because He was tired?  Since we know He is all-powerful, that His power is never lessened with the use of it, we would have to conclude that, no, He was not tired.  What purpose, then, would He have in taking a day off and then making a big deal of making sure we know about it?

My theory, which my wise husband supports, is that He did it as an example to us.  He never grows weary, but we sure do!  Think of how you feel after a period of true rest.  It's refreshing and causes us to feel ready for the next round of business at hand.

I find it ironic to be writing this after a couple of nights of not being able to sleep until the wee hours of the morning.  Yes, our physical bodies need rest, but so do our minds and spirits.  In fact, many times we need to get our minds under control before our bodies will follow.  Isn't that true of almost anything?

One of the Bible passages that most touches my heart is when Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

That rest He offers sounds so very inviting, doesn't it?  Jesus is always inviting, ever wooing us, always a perfect gentleman.  He invites us to leave our burdens at His feet, but leaves the decision to us.  Why are we so stubborn in holding on to our vices, our fears, our busyness, bitterness and strife?  What do we gain from these?  Why do we resist rest of all kinds, though we somehow still desire it and know its benefits?

There is so much we need respite from.  Our bodies need rest.  Our minds need rest.  Our spirits need refreshment.  I urge you (and I'm speaking to myself here, too!) to spend time in true rest as time allows the next few months.  Maybe even in silence from time to time?  It's a lot to ask in this day and age, but we can make it happen!  I "dare" all of us to regularly read and silently think over (or meditate on, if you will) Scripture passages from God's Word, the Holy Bible.  What might happen?  Could it be bad?  No way!  Difficult, perhaps, but also very, very good.

Rest, dear ones.


Now, because it's Mother's Day weekend, and because I love my mom, I'm honoring her request to link you up to a post I wrote on my personal blog this week, about the subject of worry.  I was kind of just writing it because my heart was bursting with the words, and I absolutely needed to get them out and sort through my thoughts.  Apparently, though, God had more in mind for this little post, based on comments and messages I have received concerning it.  The topic actually goes along with our subject of Rest, in a way.  If you relate with being a worrier, click here. :)



*Just for the record, I am not against keeping the Sabbath.  I simply chose to refrain from revealing my opinion on this subject since the Sabbath is not the focus of this particular article, and the intent is only to encourage women and young ladies to take time to rest. :)

Abundant Life

By Laurie Ness

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.  I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." John 10:10-11

Many people think of abundant living as having lots of money, things, friends, vacations, etc.  But the Bible puts the focus on intangible gifts such as grace.  If we are looking at our lives from an eternal, biblical perspective, grace, mercy, righteousness and redemption are so very much more valuable than anything this earth has to offer.

Jesus offers life!  He tenderly cares for us like a shepherd for his sheep.  He gave up everything He had the right to keep, for the sake of people (you and I and every other human) who treated Him like dirt.   He offers us true abundance in our lives here on earth, if we choose to follow Him.  There is such joy even in the painful process of giving up our wants and ways in exchange for His.  I know from experience that "the thief" tries to keep his death grip on us, and sometimes we make it easy for him!  If only we would keep our eyes on the prize, taking time to really know Him through Scripture and prayer, we would more clearly see His hand reaching for us.  If we trust Jesus as our Savior, we are free from sin!  We are free from the bondage with which "the thief" wishes to destroy us!  We aren't obligated to stay in the enemy's clutches.  We can shake off his grip and walk in a life of abundance.

Abundant living of this kind begins in our minds.  What are we focused on?  My husband, in his counseling of drug offenders, points out that we aren't likely to be successful if we only focus on what we shouldn't be doing or what we're leaving behind.  We're likely to gain victory if we focus on where we want to go and have a game plan in mind!  If we focus on our Shepherd, it will be easier to stop sin at its beginning stages by choosing not to entertain ideas that don't please Him.

And what about the abundant life we have to look forward to in eternity?  There's nothing we could have done to earn that.  Jesus bought that for us with His blood.  What could be more "abundant" than life with Him forever and ever?!

True abundance, lived by the Holy Spirit, is so much more rewarding than any bounty of material possessions or luxuries the world has to offer.  Thank You, Jesus, for what You have done for us!

Further Reading

Luke 12:14-21
Romans 5:15-21
2 Corinthians 6:6-9
1 Timothy 1:12-17

It's Okay to Wait!

by Laurie Ness

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth; a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.  Psalm 40:1-3

This has been a favorite passage of mine since my teenage years.  It has always evoked a literal picture in my mind, of a man hunkered down in a nasty pit he can't escape, calling out to the Lord for help and waiting with patience because He knows the Lord has a plan, a purpose for the delay of the rescue.  Suddenly, the man feels himself being lifted by an unseen hand, and he is placed on a firm surface where he can enjoy a sure-footed respite for awhile.

Patience is required to properly handle anything from the smallest irritation to the waiting for something huge to happen.  It has never come naturally for me but, rather, it is something I try to cultivate in my life . . . in my more lucid moments. ;)  I remember, in my growing-up years, my mom had a little picture hanging in the kitchen that read something like, "Grant me patience, Lord . . . but hurry!"  As a child I found it amusing, but as an adult I can totally relate.  Though, I have made progress in the patience department, I have a long, long way to go.

When I find myself in those "slimy pits," either of my own making or someone else's, I have a choice.  I can react right away based on my feelings, or I can stop and think before I speak or act.  I'd like to say I stop and think more often than not, but I'm not sure I'm to that point yet!  Maybe it's half-and-half or so. ;)

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Ephesians 4:2

But, when I DO reflect a little before reacting, and remember how much I want to develop patience, there are a few facts that help stabilize my thinking.  Maybe they'll be helpful for you, too.

1.  It's not all about me.  I mean, really, we need to get over ourselves, whether it's things or people we want in our lives, or something as simple as wanting to get through the checkout line at Kroger quickly.  Life is not all about us as individuals but more about being a blessing to others, considering their needs and preferences as well.  It's not being a blessing, in the example of the grocery store, to sigh impatiently or make rude remarks to/about the customer(s) in front of us or the cashier.  Every person we have contact with in any given day should be treated with patient respect.

2.  It's ALL about God!  Sometimes our patience is directed at God Himself!  This is where it can often be the most difficult to not act based on our feelings, but on what we know to be true.  God has a plan for each one of us!  How often do we forsake His best for us because we don't want to wait on His timing?  Wow, we can make ourselves believe almost anything in order to justify our impatience toward God!  Do we think He's looking the other way while we do our own thing?  Even when our impatience is displayed toward another person instead of directly toward God, our attitude is not glorifying to God as it should be.

3.  It's going to be okay!  Even when we don't feel like it's true, the truth is that no matter what we're waiting on God for, even if we never receive it, it's all going to work out for good for those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  Oh, if we would just have the patience to see it through--to see God give us our hearts' desires (as opposed to taking them on our own terms) or even to have Him give us something better than what we thought we couldn't live without, more than we could have dreamed up on our own.

Ladies, let's learn to wait, to endure, to be patient! :)

A Woman of Integrity

By Laurie Ness

It's said that your life may be the only Bible some people read.  People in general want to see in someone the integrity lacking in so much of the world. Does this mean we must live perfectly, never making a mistake, to live a life of integrity? The answer is simple:  No.  We all make mistakes. An imperfect woman (or man, but since this is a blog for women, I'll focus on us for now!) can live a life of integrity.  A woman of good character will fall, but will not make excuses to justify her sin, will not lie to hide it, nor delay in restoring fellowship with her Heavenly Father.

See, integrity, or lack of it, is a reflection of our hearts.  It looks the same when no one can see us as it does when others are watching.  The presence of integrity brings peace to our beings and restful slumber while others wrestle with their consciences long into the night.  Now, that's not to say that every episode of insomnia is caused by a guilty conscience, but it does seem wise to examine our lives to rule out a lack of integrity as the source of sleepless nights.  I read this the other day, and it made so much sense:

"Keep sound wisdom and discretion;  So shall they be life unto thy soul, and grace to thy neck.  Then shalt thou walk in thy way safely, and thy foot shall not stumble.  When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid;  yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet."  Proverbs 3:21-24 KJV

Sweet sleep.  Isn't that what we long for at the end of a busy day?  This sounds like a secret to restful sleep to me!

Integrity has an openness about it.  If we are ashamed to talk about a part of our life, there's a likelihood that we are living against what we know to be right in that area.  This transparency is different from the in-your-face rebellion that screams at us from so many sources these days.  No, the transparency of integrity is in the submitting to the quiet whispers of the Holy Spirit to share our struggles with someone.  We, of course, are wise to not just blurt out every detail of our lives to everyone who will listen.  Sometimes integrity is best "heard" in complete silence.  If we are staying in tune, we'll know when we're being nudged into words or warned to hush. :)

Prayer and the reading of Scripture will only help in our determination to be women of good character.  As Kay Arthur of Precept Ministries likes to say, the Bible is our plumb line.  We know how we should be living, what our attitudes should be, whether or not our hearts are well by reading God's Word.  If we have been students of the Word for long, we will know--sometimes without even re-reading it, because it has been written on our hearts--exactly what in our lives we need to change.  A woman lacking integrity will ignore what she knows to be true and do her own thing.  She will base her actions on the reactions of other people rather than on the Bible.  If no one is bugging her about her life, or if she has what she thinks she wants or needs, everything must be fine.

A woman of character and integrity, on the other hand, will not want to live in a way that offends her Lord.  She may mess up time and time again, but always it hurts her heart to do so and she determines to gain victory over her strongholds, rather than settling on living like a slave to that which she is not in reality.  (Romans 6:15-18, Galatians 4:6-8)

A woman lacking integrity will use her status under grace as an excuse to continue in her sin.  A wise woman knows, from reading the Bible and from listening to the Holy Spirit's quiet ministering to her heart, that this is a cop-out and not at all of God.  A woman of integrity doesn't necessarily understand every complex biblical doctrine, but obeys what she knows to be true.  As she gains more understanding, she shifts her actions, words and attitudes accordingly.  She is a work of art in progress! :)

Spring is Right in Front of You!

by Laurie Ness

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13b-14

I need a new beginning!  I've needed a new beginning countless times in my life.  No, I'm not a drug addict or a prostitute or an adulterer.  I'm not an alcoholic or a gambler or a murderer.  Those are the kinds of vices that we think of as needing some rehab, right?

But we all need a new beginning from time to time.  No sin we hang on to is better than another.  To deny that is detrimental in many ways.  Now, to those who are new creations in Christ, the most important "new beginning" doesn't need to begin again.  We are secure in our position in God's family, through faith in Christ Jesus.  We do fall from time to time, though, and compromise our fellowship with Him. 

My sin finds me out.  As a child, I was outwardly disciplined for my disobedience, as a child should be, but my heart was hard and I only cared about myself.  In adulthood, as I've opened my heart up to my Lord, my bad choices have eventually resulted in a moment of truth, where I have to face the music.  I'm not referring only to the natural consequences, but to a heart-wrenching realization of what my actions or attitudes have cost me, possibly others, and definitely my Savior.  It's a grief that's hard to face, probably the reason I sometimes run from it until I'm just too weary to avoid it.

That's the cold, dark winter.

Something amazing happens, though:  Spring arrives!  I turn around in my sorrow and shame to face the Lord and confess, expecting to see what I deserve--and what I deserve terrifies me.  But I've forgotten that all there is to see there is Jesus, the Light of the world.  He doesn't condemn me.  He's redeemed me!

Out of my love for Him, I may find myself grieving for awhile because of my part in putting Him on that cross.  In my humanness, I may also lament over the price I or others have paid because of my sin.  But the sorrow subsides because the reality is that I am free!  Like that first spring day warm enough to drink in the sunshine with no coat.  The smell is delicious.  The feeling is light and carefree.

A new beginning.  It sounds so fresh and inviting.  It entices us to embrace it.  Let's release whatever doesn't belong in our lives, leave it in the past, and begin anew.