Friday, September 30, 2011

Both Kinds of Family

by Laurie Ness


The word "family" evokes different thoughts and emotions for different people.  Some might think of warmth and support while others feel lonely, confused or even abused.  The concept of "family" is not easy, whether or not the experience is pleasant.  There are complexities that make having a healthy family hard work, and which, left unattended, cause broken families and miserable individuals.  Healthy families thrive because their members are willing to work at it, to do or give up what it takes to develop close relationships.

While thinking and praying about what to write for this month's devotional, I found myself thinking a lot about the similarities between a family of relatives and a church family.  While I don't consider myself an "expert" on either one, the Bible is full of wisdom for both kinds of families.  Many of the dynamics are the same, and in both types of families, it behooves us to examine how we are doing.  Are we contributing to the growth of our families at home and at church?

My little family of three have been memorizing Romans 12:9-21 together recently.  What a challenge, both in the memorization (at least for me--I'm not the fastest memorizer!) and the application of this passage.  It is so full of wisdom and practical ways of engaging with other people.  If we will apply these truths to our families--at home and at church--think of how well we will get along! :)

Romans 12:9-21  Let love be without hypocrisy.  Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.  Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly.  Do not be wise in your own estimation.  Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.  Respect what is right in the sight of all men.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.  Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord.  "BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD."  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Healthy families, at home and at church, typically do the following:

Know Who's Boss.  God is the head of a healthy family unit and of a healthy church family.  He's in charge!  He's the one we ultimately serve and consult.  He has placed human leaders in our homes (parents) and churches (pastors, elders, deacons, teachers, etc.)  to teach and guide and protect.

Pray together.  Just as members of a church congregation should pray together and for each other, a family unit needs to pray and lean on the Lord to stay strong.  He is the Source of our strength!

Serve together.  A healthy local church will have its eyes open for opportunities to serve both inside and outside the church walls.  Likewise, family members ought to be willing to serve one another at home and work together to serve elsewhere as well.  Is there a nursing home nearby whose residents would love regular visits from your family?  A shelter or food bank your family can supply together?  A neighbor who could use help raking leaves?  The possibilities are endless!  A servant's heart can be difficult to cultivate, but brings so many unexpected blessings!

Support each other.  A healthy church family will come through for its members in times of need.  Prayer support, financial support (when appropriate) and practical help support are a few of the ways church members care for each other.  Sometimes the need is difficult to meet or not recognized by the receiver (such as those who need church discipline!), but a church who wants to thrive in the Lord cannot ignore such matters.  A family of relatives is also responsible to one another for support, including the unpleasant matters that sometimes need to be addressed.

Accept each other.  People are different.  God created us to be unique from each other.  Sometimes these differences cause us to be annoyed, at home or at church, or to maybe think more highly of ourselves and our ways than we ought!  God wants us to accept each other.  This acceptance, of course, does not equal a lack of accountability in matters of right and wrong.  

Disagree with each other . . . the right way!  Let's face it, people disagree from time to time.  There's no way around that!  Husbands and wives disagree.  Brothers and sisters disagree.  Differing opinions, though, don't have to mean bickering and sinning.  Church members can disagree with one another, too.  The only issues worth digging in our heels for are those of biblical truth.  If the integrity of the church is being threatened by false doctrine or contrary/watered down teaching, wise people certainly need to take a stand.  But there is no good reason to quibble over non-essentials like how the building looks, styles of music or service times.  Discussion is great, but stubbornness breeds divisiveness!  Love does not insist on its own way!

Forgive each other.  Sometimes we don't do our best.  We sin against someone, or someone sins against us.  Is it our job to make them pay?  Does it do anyone any good for us to hold grudges?  The answer, of course, is no.  Wow, that person may not come even close to deserving our forgiveness, but we are commanded to extend it anyway.  Which of us can say we are deserving of the forgiveness bestowed upon us by a holy and righteous God?  Just do it!  Moms and Dads, forgive your children, and children forgive your parents for their mistakes.  Friends, forgive your friends!  Believers, forgive fellow believers who have hurt you.  Forgive as you have been forgiven!

Family ties can only grow stronger if we follow the guidelines God has provided for us. :)

Further Reading:
1 Corinthians 13
Ephesians 4:26-27
Ephesians 5:21-6:4

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