Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Key of Self-Control

 By Laurie Ness

There's something God wants you (and me) to do.  I know that, because His Word says He's got something for every believer to do.  A goal to reach, a resolution to keep, a sin to conquer, a hardship to overcome . . . whatever it looks like in your life, it's always there, beckoning you.  Are you still going strong toward your goal, or have you fizzled out, or even lost hope?

Wherever you are in your journey, God is there with you, and He wants you to be/remain encouraged!  He wants you to stay the course and finish strong in the things He has impressed upon your heart to do.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  --Jer. 29:11

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  --Gal. 6:9

Whatever our goals are, there is something that we all need in order to reach them, but it's rarely talked about as something attainable:  self-control.  Unless our goals are to be everything God detests (and that wouldn't be true for anyone reading this, or . . . you wouldn't be reading it!), there will be roadblocks, temptations, or other difficulties that try to stop us.  Self-control is key to conquering these trials and continuing on the right path toward the finish line.

I'm thinking that there must not be anyone who exercises perfect self-control in every single area of her life, because then wouldn't there be a sinless person?  Yet self-control is clearly, according to His Word, something that God wants of us.  He even provides it as a fruit of the Spirit.  Most of us probably have areas where self-control comes easier than others.  The good news is that we can train ourselves, with the Lord's help, to build stronger "self-control muscles" in all areas of our lives!

The Lord offers us encouragement and instruction in His Word to get us started and keep us going!

Let's define our goals.  It's hard to go anywhere without a destination in mind and some sort of plan to get there!  We need to take some time to listen to what the Lord wants us to work on and decide on the best steps to accomplish it.  Writing it down makes it more concrete and gives us something to refer to when the going gets rough.

"For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’" --Luke 14:28-30

A plan is a good thing!

Let's fill our minds.  Inspirational quotes from "successful" people can be great encouragement, but where better to learn about self-control than from the Bible?  Let's read it, study it (join a Bible study?), meditate on it, write it on cards to place in strategic places around our homes, and . . . hardest of all, but achievable . . . memorize it!  The more we dwell on the truth of self-control, the more it may come naturally to us in time.

"How sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! I gain understanding from your precepts, therefore I hate every wrong path.  Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." --Psalm 119:103-105

Let's rely on the Lord's strength.  He offers us the tools.  His Word;  access to Him anytime, anywhere, through prayer;  a way out when temptation tries to sway us away from our goals.  We always have a choice whether or not to utilize what He provides for us.

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."  --Galatians 5:16

Let's take the focus off ourselves.  I remember the first line of a chorus we sang in church when I was a kid, "Let's forget about ourselves and magnify the Lord and worship Him."  That's all I remember of the song, but those few words have a huge meaning!  Our lives as believers are not meant to be about us.  Our lives are meant to be an act of worship to our Lord.  That means saying "No" when we don't feel like it, because we know HE wants to say no, or saying "Yes" to something He does want us to do, even if we're afraid or uncomfortable.  He rules!  We need to choose to get over ourselves.  Ouch!

"Then he said to them all:  'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will save it.  What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?'"  --Luke 9:23-25

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship."  --Romans 12:1

Let's find a buddy.  Accountability strengthens self-control.  We weren't meant to live our lives in solitude.  Let a trusted friend or family member in on your goals, and ask them to check in with you every so often.  Somehow, knowing that a buddy will be asking us about our progress helps keep us focused and on track.

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."  --James 5:16

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! . . . And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12

Let's stand up and keep walking when we fall.  We all fall!  Repeatedly.  And we will continue to during our time on this earth.  But our falling isn't an excuse to wallow.  We need to pick ourselves up quickly, talk with the Lord (and anyone else affected) about our mistake, put it behind us, and move on!  Wallowing, lingering guilt, stagnancy--none of these are from the Lord!  If our goals are from Him, He wants us to reach them.  We can only strengthen self-control if we choose to learn from our mistakes instead of using them as an excuse to remain weak.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."  --Hebrews 12:1-3

Self-control is a difficult virtue, but vital for reaching our goals. It usually entails a sacrifice of some sort, but the sacrifice is always worth what is gained.  No matter how many times we may have failed in the past, the Lord does not want us to give up training ourselves to be self-controlled.  Do you have other hints or insights in developing self-control?  Consider helping out your sisters by commenting in the comments section below! :)


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