The Passive Gossiper

By Laurie Ness

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.  Proverbs 20:19

The "passive" gossiper.

That was me.

Oh, I'm sure over the years I have talked about people when I shouldn't have.  I felt convicted about that early on, and cut way down.  Like that makes it better.

But, several years ago, I realized that I was still participating in gossip, even when I wasn't saying a word.

I was listening.

People can't gossip without an audience.  The audience is just as guilty.

But I was more than happy to listen to the flapping gums.

An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.  Proverbs 17:4

I've come to learn that the truth is this:  There's rarely a good reason to discuss with others anything about another person that would be embarrassing to that person for others to know, nor anything that person has told me in confidence.  It's not okay .  . . whether the person is struggling with something, or had a bad day, or is sinning, or has hurt me, or has said or done something I disagree with.  And it certainly isn't okay just because I want it to be okay!

Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart I will not endure.  Psalm 101:5

To tell others how someone has hurt me instead of going to that someone?  Cowardly.

To tell others about someone's mistakes or embarrassing circumstances?  Cruel.

To talk about someone because there's nothing else to talk about?  Lame.

To criticize someone behind his/her back?  Poison.

And listening to it perpetuates the problem.

Sometimes biblical discipline requires more than one person knowing about a situation, but, of course, even that is after a one-on-one conversation has not effectively served its purpose.

Words have a great deal of value and power, and, as I've learned the hard way over the years, we need to be so vigilant in how we use them.

Gossip can sneak up on us, and when it's over, we realize we didn't have our guard up.

But we still need to keep trying!